Wedding Lessons From a Broke-Ass Bride: How to Enjoy a Bridal Show

I will get to my dos and don'ts here in a moment, but I first want to explain why I think this blog is necessary. I went to my first bridal show two days after I got engaged--about a month ago.  I entered a ton of drawings and gave information to almost every booth I ran across.  I was just excited and enthusiastic and very ready to be overly attentive to every single vendor that was in the place.  Since then, I usually get two to three calls a day from some vendor or other basically hounding me.  The first few days after the bridal show, I answered most of the calls.  I had signed up for some giveaways and didn't want to risk losing my chance to win.  After that, I made a habit of ignoring them--for good reason.

The call that really gave me the most of my current cynicism was one of the first.  The booth was for "The Bridal Registry" and they called to tell me I had won free honeymoon accommodations.  I really never win things, so I was so excited.  Then my sister (who had attended with me) got the same call.  Turns out you have to attend a 90 minute demonstration for overpriced cookware first.  Then they give you only two nights at a resort where no airfare or anything is included.  Yeah, I didn't "win" anything.  I hated them a little for getting my hopes up as we are not sure right now how we're going to pay for our wedding--let alone a honeymoon.

One booth was for a chiropractor's office that offers massage and some weight loss services.  I didn't even visit their booth.  After getting a call for a few straight days with no voicemails, I answered one of their calls.  They asked that I come to a bride's day.  I said that I would see if I could.  The woman said "We will sign you up for tomorrow then.  You can come at 10am.  We'll see you then!"  I found it presumptuous, but I just said okay and got off of the phone.  I didn't go.  I don't have money for silly things like that.  I kid you not, they called at least twice a day for about two weeks and NEVER left a voicemail.  Most of them use that same method.  Personally, I find it completely unprofessional and I will absolutely not consider any business who is free to call five times a day but too busy to leave a message.  It shows a complete lack of concern for prospective clients.

One more horror story: I won't name the photographer because I understand she was just trying to drum up business, but again, I had not registered at her booth.  She called and I answered.  I already knew she was out of my price range, but trying to be gracious, I told her that I remembered her and I had grabbed one of her business cards at the show.  She responded with: "Actually, I didn't have a business card. I had pieces of paper with the information."  Lesson 1, lady, don't be accusatory.  Even if I did remember you, the likelihood of remembering which type of paper advertising you used amidst hundreds of other vendors is slim.  I told her my wedding is more than a year a way and we haven't even begun to consider photographers yet but that when I did I had her information and would be in touch.  She continued to ask about what kind of photographer I wanted, etc.  I told her that again, I didn't know yet, but I might give her a call when I've entered that stage of planning.  She asked if she could send me an email with her information since she didn't show that I had registered with her and she wanted to make sure I had it.  I acquiesced and gave her my email and then five minutes later was finally able to gracefully get off of the phone.  I understand it's your business, but there's no need to harass.  She was unbelievably pushy and rude.

I'm going to my second bridal show this coming Sunday and I will change my methods dramatically.  My recommendations are as follows:

1) DO register for giveaways (unless it's for something you don't want or need...like a Brazilian wax. *shudder*)--you never know what you could win!
2) DO register at booths that have services that seem to be in your price range and fit with your theme/ideas.
3) DO sample any food you like, use the photo booths, and just generally have fun.

4) DO take the time to look at what a booth has to offer before giving them your information.
5) DO be polite.  The representatives from the vendors really compete and put themselves out there.  You don't have to be rude.  Be gracious and decline in a way that doesn't scream "Go screw yourself!" They're just doing their jobs and there's no need to be a bridezilla.

6) DON'T register at booths just because they ask you to and wave their clipboard in your face oh-so-eagerly.
7) DON'T wait to buy your tickets until you get there.  They may not run out, but every bridal show I've seen gives discounts for buying online ahead of time and you don't need to waste time registering by hand.  The Knoxville News Sentinel Bridal and Beyond show is doing BOGO for their tickets online!  Saved myself and my family $20.  Every bit counts.
8) DON'T eat the first few things you see without thinking.  It will probably be some form of cake and you will feel nauseated.  Not to mention you might miss out on some better cake further back in the building.  haha.
9) DON'T bring anyone with you who isn't excited about being there--it will only bring you down.  I am fortunate to have gone with my wonderful mom and sister and they made it just fantastic.
10) Lastly, DON'T wear uncomfortable shoes (unless you're a seasoned pageant competitor or something) because you will be doing a lot of walking and it really doesn't matter if you look "bridal" at these events.  I made the mistake of thinking my heeled boots would be comfortable...and got blisters.

Okay, that's it!  Sorry this one was kind of long.  If you have anything to add, please feel free to comment.  I'm hoping I'm not just spinning my wheels here and maybe there are some kindred-spirit-brides out there. :)

Wedding Lessons from a Broke-Ass Bride: "Budget" is a Buzzword

It really is.  Every article I see about "budgeting" is just useless.  I am still so excited and happy about getting married, but many planning attempts have dissolved into bouts of fear and loathing.  I have more than a year to plan but I keep having those "How are we going to pay for any of this?" moments and it's really ruining my bridal buzz.  I had to just take a few days "off" to not really think about it to make myself a little less crazy.  I don't want to ruin this awesome lovey-dovey time we have together with worry.  Somehow it will all come together.

Lesson One:  If you have plenty of time (I mean really, not just in the procrastinator's sense) and you are either worried about the financial aspect or just an anxious planner, you are allowed to step back and do nothing for a while.  People are excited to know details but that doesn't mean you have to have them.

If you can handle just browsing Pinterest Weddings and looking at bridal magazines without feeling freaked out, great.  Do it.  Try and have fun.  Hang out with someone who's supremely excited for you and let their enthusiasm remind you of your own initial thrill.  Some how, some way, you will make it work.  Cross that bridge when you come to it.  Unless it's one of those ancient, rickety plank suspension bridges with gaps...do NOT cross that bridge.

Now, let's address a real budget bride's most irksome issue.  The annoyance I refer to is with magazines, blogs, and other publications who have articles called "Thrifty Brides" or "How to Plan a Wedding on a Budget" or "Cheap Wedding Ideas."  They are almost never helpful.  There are two types of irritating in this vein.

Type 1 is the complete misunderstanding of the word inexpensive.  What a magazine calls cheap, I call terrifying.  In one article, it said something to the effect of "Amazing Weddings for Less than $10,000!"  Oh really, less than $10,000?  WOW WHAT A FRACKIN BARGAIN.  Maybe one of those brats from "My Super Sweet Sixteen" would think that a paltry sum, but I am a mere peasant.  You're looking at the girl who drove a '92 Honda Accord named Maurice through various stages of broken-downness that included, at various times having my hood bungee-corded shut (by necessity), having no heat or air, having back windows that didn't roll down, having a broken radio, not being able to change my oil for nearly a year, and countless times when the blasted old thing just wouldn't start because he hated me.  Thankfully, my future in-laws are saints.  They bought my fella a car and let me keep his "old" one (which is less than ten years old).  It's orange, so I named it Fred Jenkins III after the late, great, beloved goldfishies of my best friend.

Type 2 is the blissfully unaware lucky duck who thinks that her experiences extend to everyone.  "How I Spent Less than $1000 on My Wedding!"  These people are adorable.  "It was so easy," they say.  "For my venue, my grandmother lives in a Victorian mansion with a hundred acres.  She let me use her house and grounds for free!"  Sad for myself, I read on: "For my catering, my dad owns a restaurant and he gave me all the food for free!"  Now I hate you a little.  Hmm, her dress.  How did she get it for a good deal?  "For my dress, I called all of my animal friends together and they sewed it up while we sang a happy tune!"  AW COME ON!!!  Okay, it isn't that bad, but seriously.  SO many of these type are just not realistic for the rest of us.  I don't have rich relatives, I don't own a restaurant, and as hard as a try to teach them, I don't think my cats will ever learn to sew fabulous clothes for me.  Don't weep, it's my burden to bear.

Leave us alone, weird human.

It just makes me sad that there's so much false hope out there for people who want the dream but genuinely live paycheck to paycheck.  As far as your decor, there are some brilliant ideas out there--but what of the rest?

I am hoping to be Type 3--actually helpful--as I find awesome ideas.  For example, I will have a wedding dress story.  Both of my sisters got married last year and neither of them spent more than $200 on their dresses.  Best believe I got some helpful hints.

Since I have so long until the big event, I will plan like the tortoise--slowly but surely.  Some of it will be ranting.  We're all thinking it, I'm just putting it into words.  You're not the only broke-ass bride out there, I promise!  Take heart.

Wedding Lessons from a Broke-Ass Bride: The Saga Begins

Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I haven't written anything in a while.  It isn't the absence of things to say, projects to discuss, nor the lack of will.  I've been working hard and doing every possible extra project at the office to see if I can't persevere further in grownup careerdom. It is rewarding, but somewhat mentally exhausting--and makes me less inclined to think on topics. Then this happened:

Ignore the chubby, weird-shaped fingers.

And I find myself having trouble shutting up about my ideas, plans, and overall enthusiasm.  I don't want to be Bridezilla.  I don't want to be that girl that's giving way more information than anyone cares to have.  I don't want to drive my family and friends crazy.  Something must be done!  I might still drive everyone crazy, but I think blogging is a good way to get some of the rambling out of my system.

The first thoughts that I had when Tom proposed were somewhere between "AHHHHH!!!!" and "YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!" and that night was glorious.  The next day was still a lot of YAY and then suddenly...oh dear lord how are we ever going to pay for a wedding?  We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck as it is.  I spent a couple of hours wallowing in worry and then, think it's cheesy if you want, but the thing that calmed me was a song that came to mind that I haven't heard since like...the nineties.  It says "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way."  And then the happy came back.  I have a lot of awesome ideas.  The decor will be so cheap.  How I shall find the affordable ideal venue or catering is still a mystery, but it's a journey.  I hope that in the end I will have put forward some useful information and ideas for other broke-ass brides like me who don't want to sacrifice their dreams of a magical, whimsical, impressive, amazingly fun day with friends and family.

I just hope I can be as classy as these folks.

I tried to have a healthy start by not announcing our engagement in an annoying way.  This article was extremely helpful in that regard (sorry if you did one of those...). haha.  I wanted to be different.  So I posted a picture of the ring on the table with the candlelit dinner and said "Great Odin's Raven!  Is that..." and followed it up with that picture of the ring on the chubby fingers, as I'm sure you'll remember.  Caption: "By the beard of Zeus!  That sassy lady is ENGAGED!"  I find that you really can't go wrong when you're using Ron Burgundy's exclamatory interjections.  My next choice would've been saying "I said no!  And kept the ring."  That one seemed a little too...irreverent?


Three ways I've cut costs to start saving for the wedding:

1.  Canceling my gym membership and continuing to work out at home, using things like the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge (even though I'm not a mommy).

2.  Canceling my NatureBox subscription (for $20 a month they send you a box of healthy snacks) and just sticking to homemade goodies.

3.  Cutting back on our booze budget.  We aren't lushes or anything, but we do like our wine.  And we like having liquor for special occasions...like nightcaps or Tuesdays.  We might spending $60 every month and a half, but I'm going to cut that way back.  Incidentally, it should help with my weight loss as well.

Three things I've learned so far:

1.  Bridal shows are both fun and practical.  You never know what kind of deals you'll find.  One girl won a $600 wedding dress today.  Maybe at the next one it'll be me!  Also, you're going to want to shove a million samples into your mouth when you get there.  Pace yourself.  There's a giant room full of cakes, cupcakes, petit fours, hors d`oeuvres, mousses, trifles, and maybe even alcohol.  Don't put yourself into a sugar coma.  Today I discovered that it is also an excellent way to inspire you and help focus on the fun and exciting parts about starting your planning.  And they let you do this:

Yeah, I'm the weird one in my family.

2.  A lot more people are happy to see me happy than I knew, and that's nice.

3.  At the end of the day, it's okay to be a little cheesy.  I love my fella, he loves me, and we are on our way to officially belonging to one another and living happily ever after.

The Great Dough Fiasco

Life is full of little disappointments--a recipe not working out, a misleading Pinterest pin--okay. I'm obviously not speaking in generalities. I've got two great disasters and maybe two useful tips to share. So, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my "weekend." I was so looking forward to trying out a few things on my Tuesaturday. The day began like any other day: with some laziness and some grand schemes. Well. Grand enough for a day spent in sweatpants, anyway.

We've all always been told about how not wearing sunscreen and using tanning beds can cause cancer. We've all seen those old ladies who look like orangey leather purses because their skin is all sunned out. Well, apparently, spray tans are bad for you too. So I thought I'd try out a DIY self-tanning method I found on Pinterest a while back.

Pictured above: The end to your tanning woes?

They say supermodels use this trick to keep their skin from being too pasty. I don't know if I believe it. Basically, take 4 teabags and some boiling water. Brew yourself some tea. Put it in a spray bottle. Spray it all over your body and rub it in. Make sure you're all showered up and clean first, obviously. I felt a little silly doing it, but it was fairly easy. Also, my sister said "I want to know, so do it and blog about it!" Even if she is family, it was nice to think of myself as some sort of DIY beauty guru that people listen to about things. It makes me feel fancy. To be honest, it only made my skin maybe a shade darker. I suppose I could have done a few more rounds. I bet that would have helped. But, alas, I was not feelin' it. I'm giving this treatment a C+. But that factors in my minimal effort to make it work.

I think the key to it might have been the second step: mixing a small amount of cocoa powder with lotion. I definitely added WAY too much. It ended up looking like chocolate pudding.

Don't do it, Bill! It'll tan your insides!

As I tried to rub it into my skin, stray powder clumps I thought I had mixed in began to create streaks. Again my laziness took over. I simply jumped in the shower to rinse off the mixture rather than perfect it. I was afraid I'd end up with legs that looked like chocolate candy canes. Nobody likes that. So, maybe I'll give it another shot one day. You should definitely check it out. When it wasn't streaking, I could tell it would [probably] work. Hey now, I'm no expert. I'm just a girl, like you all, trying to make it in this crazy world.

The only truly successful project of the day the fantastic homemade bronzer I now have in my makeup bag. I use bronzer every day. It can get expensive. It can also get annoying because they put it in packaging that tends to fall apart, scattering powder everywhere and ruining your adorbs little makeup bag. I now know I can make my own whenever I darn well please. It's also customizable. Let me explain. You only need 3 things:

2 T Cinnamon
3 tsp Corn Starch
1 Small Jar

Whisk the cinnamon and corn starch in a small bowl until all lumps are gone. If you want a darker shade, add more cinnamon (or even a pinch of cocoa powder if you like!). Pour into your jar. Voila. Homemade bronzer in like a minute. Glorious. Now, I will say that a few blogs said some people may have skin reactions with the cinnamon--I have not, and another "sensitive skin" blogger said she always uses it and has had no issues. I'm a carnivore, but for you vegetarians out there who worry extra about our furry little animal friends...

Awww.

You can always guarantee that homemade makeup is cruelty-free. Unless you're cruel. Then, I guess it's not. I kind of don't think this guy's homemade stuff is cruelty-free:

It definitely doesn't have that same sun-kissed effect, either.

Now for my true shenanigans. So, I found this pin on Pinterest. "Easiest Homemade Pizza Dough Ever!" they said. Only two ingredients! They said. Well. I'm here to tell you that they lied. You actually need THREE ingredients:

1 cup Greek Yogurt
1 cup Self-Rising Flour
2 cups KNOWLEDGE OF HOW THE HELL TO MAKE PIZZA DOUGH!

Yeah, they mixing was not so hard. Then came that part where it's supposed to be in a neat little ball where you can gently roll it out into a pizza shape. Instead, I ended up with dough stuck all over my hands and all over the board and all over the rolling pin. I put flour on everything. I don't understand. It was a big, sad mess. I asked Tom to try and come help. He said, "You know, you don't have to make it from scratch." So I pouted. A lot. And then realized he was right. I am apparently incapable of making pizza dough and that is something I've just got to learn to live with. Thankfully, we have a local pizza place nearby where he went and got fresh dough for only $2. Smart man, he is.

However, we even still had a bit of trouble with that--stretching it out and what-not. I have the highest respect now for pizza-makers. It's pure artistry.

This guy knows. That's why he's making that 'what, like it's hard?' face. Because it's HARD and he's obviously a badass.

So yeah, we ended up with some pretty ugly (yet delicious) calzones thanks to Tom's excellent sculpting skills. So what if his looked like a pepperoni-filled diaper? So what if mine looked like a puffy burrito? They were still excellent. All thanks to him. The moral of the story is: Be with somebody who's good at mopping up your mistakes. haha.

I recommend a couple of things. One, pair your pizza/calzones with this wine:

Perfect matchup.

And two, pair the meal with this movie:

Don't judge.

If you DO NOT have a Southern family and therefore cannot fully appreciate this movie, pair it with a nice thriller instead:

One of my faves.

Everyone loves Denzel. If he can't please your movie tastes, no one can. Also, be prepared to forever shudder when you hear The Rolling Stones' song "Time is on My Side." Just be prepared.

The Science of Pink

The thing is, I don't think there really is a science to pink. I think there's a witchcraft to it, though. I've never be huge on the hue, and yet I find it infiltrating my life. Pink makeup bag, pink tennis shoes, pink overnight bag, pink stilettos, pink blog template. Pink isn't just a color, though. It really has a character all its own. It draws people into girl-world. That is what it has done to me. Things I once made fun of, I know embrace--things like mani-pedis, skin treatments, overpriced Victoria's Secret sweatpants...the list goes on. I find myself saying things like "Tiffany blue." I have never given one second thought to Tiffany's. I still don't care about jewelry...and I'm hoping that attitude will last forever. But the color...I dig it. I wanted it on my nails today, but had to settle for a color called "Cinderella."

It would be delicate on anyone without such fat little chef-injured hands.

The thing I'm getting at is that if you let pink into your life--the attitude of pink, if you will, it can begin to take you over. I have no problem with being a girly girl. But I don't want to become a material girl. That's fo sheezy. I still buy everything on sale and think many luxuries are preposterous. But I've let this pinkness into my life and now...I'm just such a girl. Yikes.

On that note, I've got some products to recommend. They've really helped my beauty routine. Things have been hectic and I have felt tired and lazy, so I haven't made any awesome homemade treatments lately. There will be more coming. However, I have really begun taking better care of my skin. Using body scrub and body butter on a regular basis has helped massively decrease the amount of cottage-cheesiness on my body.

Appetizing...except when it forms the shape of your thighs.

I'll begin by saying that I am a huge fan of The Body Shop. It began, for me, with the company's partnership with multiple organizations that fight human trafficking. This cause is one close to my heart. A couple of years ago, the store started a petition to bring forth the issue in front of world leaders. Not only do they fight for justice in that manner, but they also use fair-traded products that are made from natural sources. Win. What gives them the triple whammy is their excellent customer rewards program. You earn points through your card as well as getting 10% off each purchase. They have great deals all the time. In any case, they carry two products that I just love:

Sweet Lemon Body Scrub

On sale now for $10 (usually $20)!

What it smells like:

Buttery, sugary, lemony heaven.

What it does: Makes ya skin feel like BUTTAH. It's great for exfoliating, softening, and even helps your legs stay smoother longer after shaving. At least, that has seemed to be the case with me. It's one of those things that make my showers feel very spa-like. It's easy to forget that we've got tons of dead skin cells on us at any given time. Exfoliation helps clear away that pointless epidermal debris so your skin can be soft and have that excellent glow we're all looking for.

Next, up: Strawberry Body Butter

What it smells like: 

(That's Strawberry Shortcake for you uneducated ones out there)

What it does: Few of us realize how dry our skin is. When you see someone not aging well skin-wise (i.e. with papery, wrinkly, or leathery texture), it's usually because they didn't make a daily habit of moisturizing. It's extremely important to keep your skin hydrated. Not only does well-hydrated skin reduce the appearance of cellulite (therefore appearing firmer and somehow more toned), it feels glorious and will stay in better condition over time than dry, parched, "ashy" skin. This body butter is perfect for a rich slathering of moisture. It's a fantastic follow-up to a potentially skin-dehydrating act like swimming or bathing.

I have one more product to recommend. This one I just randomly bought on a whim whilst picking up some underoos. It's a Victoria's Secret in-store product--one of those little items placed near the register. It's called Brightening Cream. It's got caffeine in it and a delightful hint of fragrance. You use it to perk up a tired looking face. It also seems to function as a primer. It's only like $12 and I just love it. I don't know why I haven't heard of it. I can't even find a picture or anything online. But it is fantastic.

In other news, made an awesome recipe. It's easy-peasy and cooks in a crock pot. Tom said it was the best thing I've made for him yet (although I have heard that many times. haha)

All you need:

Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts

Small Jar of Basil Pesto

Garlic Powder

Black Pepper

One Yellow Onion, Diced

Chicken Broth

1/2 Packet Ranch Dressing Mix

Box of Penne Pasta

Grated Parmesan

Chicken in the bottom. Pesto slathered over. Broth poured in. Spices added. Onion added. Cook on high. Boil pasta. Place across top of crockpot. Cover in parmesan. Continue to let cook for about 5-6 hours. EAT IT. Brag. The end.

Pictured above: NOT my hand.

And...you're welcome. Pair it with Legally Blonde and embrace your pink side.

5 Things You Need to Know About Insurance

As many of you know, I am now a licensed insurance agent. I love that every day I get to help meet people's needs. I love the competitive and rewarding environment. One part I don't like, however, is how I have to deliver bad news to uneducated clients. When I say uneducated, I'm not talking down about them--that is what they are. That is what most of you probably are, and that is what I was before I went through licensing training and practical sales experience. I talk to person after person who have completely screwed themselves over and continue to do so. They always ask: "Why is my insurance so high?" or "Why won't the company I want take me?" Well, I'm going to tell you a few things you may or may not know. If you do, congratulations. If you don't, you may have an icky financial future. Yes, icky.

1) "No Prior Insurance" is the rating killer you'll be slapped with if you let your coverage lapse even a few hours. If you've got no prior, you're looking at rates sometimes a hundred dollars higher than you're accustomed to paying. This isn't just with top-rated companies like the ones that I work with, it's everywhere. 

How to avoid this: I don't care how down-in-the-dumps you are. If you have to let some monthly payment slide, I understand. I've been there. But do NOT let it be your insurance. You'll be costing yourself way more money than you could ever save.

Also, if your insurance expires on March 25, your new policy needs to be in effect ON March 25, not March 26. The expiration is effective at 12:01 AM on the day and waiting to find new insurance until that day or even the next puts you in a lapse. The best companies, like the Hartford, Safeco, or Metlife, will not even accept you. And companies like them often offer you the best prices as well as protection.

2) The liability side of your insurance covers the damage you do to OTHER people. I can't tell you how many people say to me "I only need minimums. It's an old car." Makes me face palm every time. I don't care how old your car is; neither does the person you hit. If you're in an accident and someone is injured or their car is damaged, those 25,000/50,000/15,000 coverages aren't going to cover it...and that's just in Tennessee. There are some states That require only 10,000/20,000/5,000. Now, what do those numbers mean, anyway? The first number is the limit of how much any one person can receive. The second is the limit of money that will be paid out for injuries per accident. The last is the limit for property damage (such as a vehicle being destroyed)...now that you understand these things, I'll take you to my next point...

3) State minimums are for morons. If you're driving around with the bare minimum in liability, you are endangering all of your assets. Taken from a legal website, here's an idea of how much the AVERAGE accident ends up costing a person--not catastrophic accidents, just run-of-the-mill ones. Here they are:

Average comprehensive cost of motor vehicle crashes per injured person:

• Comprehensive cost of a death: $4,100,000
• Comprehensive cost of an incapacitating injury: $208,500
• Comprehensive cost of a non-incapacitating evident injury: $53,200
• Comprehensive cost of a possible injury: $25,300
• Comprehensive cost of no injury: $2,300

Yeah, imagine injuring a person. Along with the stress of the damage to your own vehicle or your own body, you are now liable for tens of thousands of dollars that, guess what? your insurance company is absolutely not going to pay. You dig your own grave when you don't have sufficient coverage. People always say "I'm a good driver, nothing will happen." Well, if they were on purpose, they would be called appointments, not accidents. Stop thinking you're invisible and get good coverage. Again, here's a good segway to my next point:

4) Having double or even triple the coverage usually only costs about $5-$15 extra monthly. I talk to people every day who have purchased expensive, brand new vehicles. Hell, they're probably calling on a smart phone with a pricey data plan. But they say things about insurance like "the cheapest is the best." I'm sorry, what? If the cheapest were the best, you would be driving a jalopy. Know where to spend your money. Having flashy things is just ridiculous if you're too stupid to protect your stuff. Insurance is what insures that you won't lose your Mercedes, iPhone, brand new Nikes. Get your shallow self some education and protect your future.

5) Not a homeowner? Renters insurance is the best-kept secret on the market. It usually only costs about $15 a month to protect yourself and all of your stuff. Did you know that even "full coverage" auto insurance doesn't pay out items are stolen from your vehicle? What would you do if everything you had was stolen? What would you do if your place burned down? Your landlord isn't liable for anything. Neither are your neighbors--even if they cause the fire. Renters covers all of that. It even covers you for liability outside of your vehicle. f you accidentally bump into an old lady at the supermarket. She falls over, breaks her hip, and sues you. With renters, you're covered. Seriously. You need it. Don't make the mistake of thinking nothing will ever happen to you. Because if it does, you'll be in a pickle.

I know that's rough stuff to stomach. So, here's a yummy Goulash recipe to help settle your tummy and make your heart glad...

2 medium yellow onions

1 package whole wheat elbow macaroni

1 large can crushed tomatoes

2 lbs. ground beef (preferably lean)

3 garlic cloves

Various spices

Chop the onions, press the garlic (with a garlic press, duh) and cook them with the beef in a large pan until browned. Boil the pasta, drain, and place in pan with meat. Add crushed tomatoes. Stir and season to taste. I used Season All, salt, pepper, crushed red pepper, and a bit of sage. Delicious, hearty, and full of lycopene.

And so easy to make!

I recommend pairing it with an episode of one of my favorite TV shows, Once Upon a Time. If you're not caught up, you should find a way to watch it from the beginning. Heartwarming story, really. Especially if you're into fairytales. Nice twist on a few of those.

Give your inner child a hey-day.

The "Off" Times

As you may have noticed, I took a week "off"--from writing this blog, anyway. I find myself knee-deep in time-consuming activities. With two weddings on the docket for this year (neither of them mine, I assure you), I've had my weekends committed to dress-shopping with the respective brides, one of them being my younger sister, Emily. Despite my rousing speeches for money-saving options like thrift stores, we began in wedding boutiques. Not that you'll never find anything in these places, but I really don't recommend starting there. For one, if you're having a wedding in a short amount of time (like my sister, courtesy of her fiance's Air Force career), they likely won't be able to get your dress in time. They've got to order everything...which I find annoying. And you get no discount for buying off the rack in some places. Next, there's the pressure. I have watched way too many episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" and consequently feel terrible about wasting a consultant's time if I'm not going to buy.

Yes, I do like this dress...but I think I'd like to try on some I know I won't like just to make sure. Shouldn't take more than three hours. 

Yeah...so anyway, after three straight weekends and a dress order cancellation, we finally found a winner (for one bride, anyway). It is absolutely gorgeous, fits her perfectly, and is more unique than anything we've seen. She looks a bit like Belle from Beauty and the Beast in it. In any case, rather than the $800 somewhat impersonal ball gown we cancelled for her, we found this fantastic one for only $168. It's the same style, but better. And it's never been worn. We went to this awesome consignment shop called Wear Else on Northshore Drive in Knoxville. They get 'new' wedding gowns from bridal shops that can't/won't sell last year's merchandise and discount the crap out of them. So awesome!

So hopefully that's kind of over, but not. What I'm saying is, I haven't been idle. I don't have time for idleness. I have been kicking some booty at work, though. I will be posting my mini-dissertation on insurance soon enough. You'd be amazed at how many things people don't know that they REALLY REALLY need to know. You may even be one of those people. I know I was prior to my licensing training. There just really aren't a lot of insurance agents with integrity who will explain your coverages.

In any case, I have made some awesome recipes lately--like the Cilantro Lime Chicken Enchiladas with Avocado Cream Sauce that I found on Pinterest. As per usual, I added a little somethin-somethin. I would've added more somethin-somethins if I had been thinking straight. The recipe is delicious, but there are some important things to remember: Don't eat it straight out of the oven. At that point, the sauce hasn't really developed and is sort of bland. If I make it again, I will also add tomatoes to the vegetable mixture. I think that was the missing ingredient. I drizzled a bit of Catalina dressing on top of them when they came out of the oven as well.

Tips for making it healthier (which yes, I did use): Use greek yogurt instead of sour cream in the sauce. Use lowfat cheese. Use whole wheat tortillas (I like a brand that also uses flax seed for extra fiber). It really is already fairly healthy--it's got veggies, a lean protein source, and healthy fats in the avocado. Definitely worth making.

Glorious.

I served it with Homemade Refried Beans. I used black beans instead of pinto, because they're healthier (as evidenced by this chart.) They were so delicious. No chemicals, no preservatives, no gross can-shaped slimy mold. I will definitely be making homemade refried beans from here on out. And easy as pie because they're made in the crockpot. Who came up with that saying, anyway? Pie really isn't that easy. Have you ever tried to bake a decent pie?

Isn't that what White Snake was singing about?

So anyway, you could always pair the enchiladas with the other awesome recipe I made: Cumin Lime Chickpeas. With all of the ingredients I added, it ended up being more of a salad. In addition to what the recipe called for, I chopped up two tomatoes and an avocado. I then added a bit of Catalina dressing and tossed it. It was definitely good.

Light, summery goodness.

I actually served these with veggie burgers. I am a carnivore and definitely bought the Light Side burgers by accident. They were frozen and I had a coupon and the "meatless" text was very small. That said, I had never eaten a veggie burger and was surprised how good they tasted. These weren't packed with sodium or chemicals like most veggie burgers are, either. However, when you're wanting a big, juicy, medium rare burger--they just don't cut it. Still, always up for trying new things! I may even get them again some time.

Okay, since the recipes I posted this time have a bit of a Southwestern flair, I recommend watching Nacho Libre. It's clean, it's funny, and it's bizarre. Seriously. Give it a shot.

Also, this is different, but give Proverbs 31 a little read. It's the kind of woman I want to be...except adding in some sass and some kicking ass. Just do it! And in case you were wondering...