Wedding Lessons From a Broke-Ass Bride: How to Enjoy a Bridal Show

I will get to my dos and don'ts here in a moment, but I first want to explain why I think this blog is necessary. I went to my first bridal show two days after I got engaged--about a month ago.  I entered a ton of drawings and gave information to almost every booth I ran across.  I was just excited and enthusiastic and very ready to be overly attentive to every single vendor that was in the place.  Since then, I usually get two to three calls a day from some vendor or other basically hounding me.  The first few days after the bridal show, I answered most of the calls.  I had signed up for some giveaways and didn't want to risk losing my chance to win.  After that, I made a habit of ignoring them--for good reason.

The call that really gave me the most of my current cynicism was one of the first.  The booth was for "The Bridal Registry" and they called to tell me I had won free honeymoon accommodations.  I really never win things, so I was so excited.  Then my sister (who had attended with me) got the same call.  Turns out you have to attend a 90 minute demonstration for overpriced cookware first.  Then they give you only two nights at a resort where no airfare or anything is included.  Yeah, I didn't "win" anything.  I hated them a little for getting my hopes up as we are not sure right now how we're going to pay for our wedding--let alone a honeymoon.

One booth was for a chiropractor's office that offers massage and some weight loss services.  I didn't even visit their booth.  After getting a call for a few straight days with no voicemails, I answered one of their calls.  They asked that I come to a bride's day.  I said that I would see if I could.  The woman said "We will sign you up for tomorrow then.  You can come at 10am.  We'll see you then!"  I found it presumptuous, but I just said okay and got off of the phone.  I didn't go.  I don't have money for silly things like that.  I kid you not, they called at least twice a day for about two weeks and NEVER left a voicemail.  Most of them use that same method.  Personally, I find it completely unprofessional and I will absolutely not consider any business who is free to call five times a day but too busy to leave a message.  It shows a complete lack of concern for prospective clients.

One more horror story: I won't name the photographer because I understand she was just trying to drum up business, but again, I had not registered at her booth.  She called and I answered.  I already knew she was out of my price range, but trying to be gracious, I told her that I remembered her and I had grabbed one of her business cards at the show.  She responded with: "Actually, I didn't have a business card. I had pieces of paper with the information."  Lesson 1, lady, don't be accusatory.  Even if I did remember you, the likelihood of remembering which type of paper advertising you used amidst hundreds of other vendors is slim.  I told her my wedding is more than a year a way and we haven't even begun to consider photographers yet but that when I did I had her information and would be in touch.  She continued to ask about what kind of photographer I wanted, etc.  I told her that again, I didn't know yet, but I might give her a call when I've entered that stage of planning.  She asked if she could send me an email with her information since she didn't show that I had registered with her and she wanted to make sure I had it.  I acquiesced and gave her my email and then five minutes later was finally able to gracefully get off of the phone.  I understand it's your business, but there's no need to harass.  She was unbelievably pushy and rude.

I'm going to my second bridal show this coming Sunday and I will change my methods dramatically.  My recommendations are as follows:

1) DO register for giveaways (unless it's for something you don't want or need...like a Brazilian wax. *shudder*)--you never know what you could win!
2) DO register at booths that have services that seem to be in your price range and fit with your theme/ideas.
3) DO sample any food you like, use the photo booths, and just generally have fun.

4) DO take the time to look at what a booth has to offer before giving them your information.
5) DO be polite.  The representatives from the vendors really compete and put themselves out there.  You don't have to be rude.  Be gracious and decline in a way that doesn't scream "Go screw yourself!" They're just doing their jobs and there's no need to be a bridezilla.

6) DON'T register at booths just because they ask you to and wave their clipboard in your face oh-so-eagerly.
7) DON'T wait to buy your tickets until you get there.  They may not run out, but every bridal show I've seen gives discounts for buying online ahead of time and you don't need to waste time registering by hand.  The Knoxville News Sentinel Bridal and Beyond show is doing BOGO for their tickets online!  Saved myself and my family $20.  Every bit counts.
8) DON'T eat the first few things you see without thinking.  It will probably be some form of cake and you will feel nauseated.  Not to mention you might miss out on some better cake further back in the building.  haha.
9) DON'T bring anyone with you who isn't excited about being there--it will only bring you down.  I am fortunate to have gone with my wonderful mom and sister and they made it just fantastic.
10) Lastly, DON'T wear uncomfortable shoes (unless you're a seasoned pageant competitor or something) because you will be doing a lot of walking and it really doesn't matter if you look "bridal" at these events.  I made the mistake of thinking my heeled boots would be comfortable...and got blisters.

Okay, that's it!  Sorry this one was kind of long.  If you have anything to add, please feel free to comment.  I'm hoping I'm not just spinning my wheels here and maybe there are some kindred-spirit-brides out there. :)

Wedding Lessons from a Broke-Ass Bride: "Budget" is a Buzzword

It really is.  Every article I see about "budgeting" is just useless.  I am still so excited and happy about getting married, but many planning attempts have dissolved into bouts of fear and loathing.  I have more than a year to plan but I keep having those "How are we going to pay for any of this?" moments and it's really ruining my bridal buzz.  I had to just take a few days "off" to not really think about it to make myself a little less crazy.  I don't want to ruin this awesome lovey-dovey time we have together with worry.  Somehow it will all come together.

Lesson One:  If you have plenty of time (I mean really, not just in the procrastinator's sense) and you are either worried about the financial aspect or just an anxious planner, you are allowed to step back and do nothing for a while.  People are excited to know details but that doesn't mean you have to have them.

If you can handle just browsing Pinterest Weddings and looking at bridal magazines without feeling freaked out, great.  Do it.  Try and have fun.  Hang out with someone who's supremely excited for you and let their enthusiasm remind you of your own initial thrill.  Some how, some way, you will make it work.  Cross that bridge when you come to it.  Unless it's one of those ancient, rickety plank suspension bridges with gaps...do NOT cross that bridge.

Now, let's address a real budget bride's most irksome issue.  The annoyance I refer to is with magazines, blogs, and other publications who have articles called "Thrifty Brides" or "How to Plan a Wedding on a Budget" or "Cheap Wedding Ideas."  They are almost never helpful.  There are two types of irritating in this vein.

Type 1 is the complete misunderstanding of the word inexpensive.  What a magazine calls cheap, I call terrifying.  In one article, it said something to the effect of "Amazing Weddings for Less than $10,000!"  Oh really, less than $10,000?  WOW WHAT A FRACKIN BARGAIN.  Maybe one of those brats from "My Super Sweet Sixteen" would think that a paltry sum, but I am a mere peasant.  You're looking at the girl who drove a '92 Honda Accord named Maurice through various stages of broken-downness that included, at various times having my hood bungee-corded shut (by necessity), having no heat or air, having back windows that didn't roll down, having a broken radio, not being able to change my oil for nearly a year, and countless times when the blasted old thing just wouldn't start because he hated me.  Thankfully, my future in-laws are saints.  They bought my fella a car and let me keep his "old" one (which is less than ten years old).  It's orange, so I named it Fred Jenkins III after the late, great, beloved goldfishies of my best friend.

Type 2 is the blissfully unaware lucky duck who thinks that her experiences extend to everyone.  "How I Spent Less than $1000 on My Wedding!"  These people are adorable.  "It was so easy," they say.  "For my venue, my grandmother lives in a Victorian mansion with a hundred acres.  She let me use her house and grounds for free!"  Sad for myself, I read on: "For my catering, my dad owns a restaurant and he gave me all the food for free!"  Now I hate you a little.  Hmm, her dress.  How did she get it for a good deal?  "For my dress, I called all of my animal friends together and they sewed it up while we sang a happy tune!"  AW COME ON!!!  Okay, it isn't that bad, but seriously.  SO many of these type are just not realistic for the rest of us.  I don't have rich relatives, I don't own a restaurant, and as hard as a try to teach them, I don't think my cats will ever learn to sew fabulous clothes for me.  Don't weep, it's my burden to bear.

Leave us alone, weird human.

It just makes me sad that there's so much false hope out there for people who want the dream but genuinely live paycheck to paycheck.  As far as your decor, there are some brilliant ideas out there--but what of the rest?

I am hoping to be Type 3--actually helpful--as I find awesome ideas.  For example, I will have a wedding dress story.  Both of my sisters got married last year and neither of them spent more than $200 on their dresses.  Best believe I got some helpful hints.

Since I have so long until the big event, I will plan like the tortoise--slowly but surely.  Some of it will be ranting.  We're all thinking it, I'm just putting it into words.  You're not the only broke-ass bride out there, I promise!  Take heart.

Wedding Lessons from a Broke-Ass Bride: The Saga Begins

Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I haven't written anything in a while.  It isn't the absence of things to say, projects to discuss, nor the lack of will.  I've been working hard and doing every possible extra project at the office to see if I can't persevere further in grownup careerdom. It is rewarding, but somewhat mentally exhausting--and makes me less inclined to think on topics. Then this happened:

Ignore the chubby, weird-shaped fingers.

And I find myself having trouble shutting up about my ideas, plans, and overall enthusiasm.  I don't want to be Bridezilla.  I don't want to be that girl that's giving way more information than anyone cares to have.  I don't want to drive my family and friends crazy.  Something must be done!  I might still drive everyone crazy, but I think blogging is a good way to get some of the rambling out of my system.

The first thoughts that I had when Tom proposed were somewhere between "AHHHHH!!!!" and "YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!" and that night was glorious.  The next day was still a lot of YAY and then suddenly...oh dear lord how are we ever going to pay for a wedding?  We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck as it is.  I spent a couple of hours wallowing in worry and then, think it's cheesy if you want, but the thing that calmed me was a song that came to mind that I haven't heard since like...the nineties.  It says "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way."  And then the happy came back.  I have a lot of awesome ideas.  The decor will be so cheap.  How I shall find the affordable ideal venue or catering is still a mystery, but it's a journey.  I hope that in the end I will have put forward some useful information and ideas for other broke-ass brides like me who don't want to sacrifice their dreams of a magical, whimsical, impressive, amazingly fun day with friends and family.

I just hope I can be as classy as these folks.

I tried to have a healthy start by not announcing our engagement in an annoying way.  This article was extremely helpful in that regard (sorry if you did one of those...). haha.  I wanted to be different.  So I posted a picture of the ring on the table with the candlelit dinner and said "Great Odin's Raven!  Is that..." and followed it up with that picture of the ring on the chubby fingers, as I'm sure you'll remember.  Caption: "By the beard of Zeus!  That sassy lady is ENGAGED!"  I find that you really can't go wrong when you're using Ron Burgundy's exclamatory interjections.  My next choice would've been saying "I said no!  And kept the ring."  That one seemed a little too...irreverent?


Three ways I've cut costs to start saving for the wedding:

1.  Canceling my gym membership and continuing to work out at home, using things like the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge (even though I'm not a mommy).

2.  Canceling my NatureBox subscription (for $20 a month they send you a box of healthy snacks) and just sticking to homemade goodies.

3.  Cutting back on our booze budget.  We aren't lushes or anything, but we do like our wine.  And we like having liquor for special occasions...like nightcaps or Tuesdays.  We might spending $60 every month and a half, but I'm going to cut that way back.  Incidentally, it should help with my weight loss as well.

Three things I've learned so far:

1.  Bridal shows are both fun and practical.  You never know what kind of deals you'll find.  One girl won a $600 wedding dress today.  Maybe at the next one it'll be me!  Also, you're going to want to shove a million samples into your mouth when you get there.  Pace yourself.  There's a giant room full of cakes, cupcakes, petit fours, hors d`oeuvres, mousses, trifles, and maybe even alcohol.  Don't put yourself into a sugar coma.  Today I discovered that it is also an excellent way to inspire you and help focus on the fun and exciting parts about starting your planning.  And they let you do this:

Yeah, I'm the weird one in my family.

2.  A lot more people are happy to see me happy than I knew, and that's nice.

3.  At the end of the day, it's okay to be a little cheesy.  I love my fella, he loves me, and we are on our way to officially belonging to one another and living happily ever after.